As a manager, you may know that it is crucial to establish feedback communication with employees for their comprehensive development. However, it is not always easy to formulate and express your opinion in such a way as to inspire employees on development. So how do you prepare for providing feedback to employees?

This article contains 21 tips to help you transform not always pleasant conversations into productive communication. It contains a wealth of practical advice on a wide range of topics, from constructive criticism to judging outstanding work. You will learn how to:

• build trust with your employees
• focus on progress
• motivate employees by recognizing their successes
• involve direct reporters in the discussion of the results
• evaluate effectiveness when results are not clear

Systematic relationship building is a good foundation for effective feedback. A conversation between good friends does not trigger the “fight or flight” response. Social psychologist John Gottman, an American psychologist and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, has found through research that success in hard conversations depends on the quality of the friendship.

— Mike, I have a few remarks in relation to…

When you address such words to a subordinate, their heart rate is elevated, and blood pressure goes up for sure. Other signs of stress may also develop. It is intense exertion, which activates the “fight or flight” response, which starts in the hypothalamus. It may be a primitive neurological response, but it hinders the ability to process complex information and respond intelligently. An employee in that condition can hardly perceive the information and take notes of your comments. Often, the performance conversation is not going the way you expected.

Some begin to make excuses, become defensive, or even show hostility, while the others try not to make eye contact, fold their arms over their chests, stoop, and it seems they are about to run away. This behavior means that your criticisms are unlikely to hit the mark.

So, how to express your point of view so that the employee can take it into account? The following tips allow you to establish a quality relationship.

Tip 1: Make the person feel appreciated

It is fundamentally vital to show the employee that you see them as a person and not just a hired hand, but don’t overdo it and don’t spend too much time on this.

Tip 2: Respond to employee attempts to get noticed

We spark the interest of others not only directly but also through countless subtle signals. As Gottman writes in “The Relationship Cure”, the signal can be a question, a gesture, a look, a touch - any simple way to get the attention that says: “I want to feel connected to you”. The reaction to this attempt could be a positive or negative response to someone’s request for an emotional connection. But many managers do not even notice that kind of signal from employees. It is because we are less observant of social cues coming from subordinates. To communicate more effectively with employees, think about how often you notice their efforts to get your attention or how often you have previously ignored such attempts.

Tip 3: Recognize employees regularly

Researches show that the ratio of positive to negative communication in successful relationships is 5 to 1, even during conflict. It does not mean you must give a person five compliments before expressing critical remarks. It’s about the importance of positive feedback and other forms of recognition to strengthen relationships.

Once you have laid the foundation for communication with an employee, prepare favorable conditions for discussing the results of their activities. The overall atmosphere has a significant impact on communication. The next portion of tips will help you make the conversation more productive.

Tip 4: Select the exact right time slot

Think carefully about the time of the conversation, whether it’s a short informal talk or a long and serious discussion. Don’t cram dialogue into a window in your schedule. Pick a time when you and the person you’re talking to are at your best. Schedule the conversation at the start of your workday before other problems engulf you. Alternatively, think of the end of the day, as there you have more time to think. Think about what you both will be doing right before the conversation and right after it. If before or after the dialogue you have to participate in complex events, then it is better to reschedule the conversation.

Tip 5: Duration

Often we reserve a standard amount of time for any conversation, regardless of the nature of the issues at hand. Think about how long a performance conversation can last if it goes well and if it doesn’t. It’s not so good to suddenly find yourself running late for your next meeting in the middle of a conversation with an employee. Think in advance about what you will do if the conversation drags on. Will you be able to skip the next scheduled event to continue this dialogue?

Tip 6: Place

Meeting in your office will emphasize the hierarchy, which is useful if you need to establish a distance between you and the employee. However, it will cause stress for the employee and activate the “fight or flight” response. A more informal setting - a meeting room or a restaurant eliminate employment status differences and reduce the occurrence of unwanted reactions. Try to find a suitable place for a conversation where you will not be interrupted.

Tip 7: Distance

Sitting at a table opposite each other during a meeting with an employee in an office or meeting room creates a physical distance, emphasizes different job titles, and accentuates your role as boss. While trying to make strong connections with another person or express understanding, it is preferable to sit closer, at right angles to each other. Think about how close you want to be. Perhaps the conversation at the table may seem too formal and you should discuss business during a walk.

Tip 8: Notify the employee in advance of your intentions to provide feedback

Imagine a situation when you are just focused on your work, and suddenly you are asked to go to the boss’s office. You have an urgent task followed by an important meeting, and it is not the best time for feedback. Tell the person ahead of time that you want to provide them with feedback. The employee will plan the day and be less stressed. In addition, the employee will have time to analyze their mistakes and successes, which will be helpful for the conversation. The employee will easily accept feedback because they will be prepared for it.

A bad way to notify an employee

— Casey, сome by my office for a moment. I would like to give you feedback on the latest project.

A good way to notify an employee

— Casey, I would like to give you feedback on the latest project. Can we talk tomorrow afternoon? Is 2 pm works for you?

Tip 9: Be specific

Share the facts that led to the success or failure of the project. If you do not operate with facts and explain details, it would be difficult for the employee to correct mistakes or repeat a great result. Thus, whether you criticize or praise — be specific and take the time to clarify the details.

An example of non-specific feedback

— You’re great!
— Everything was done perfectly.
— Colleagues speak positively about your work and appreciate your contribution.
— Your growth is noticeable.
— You’ve gotten a lot better at your job.

An example of concrete feedback

— I want to note that the quality of your code has improved significantly. Previously, it took 3-5 iterations before we could approve it. Now one iteration is enough. Your growth is understandable and obvious.

Tip 10: Think about the content of the conversation

Focus on the message you want to express to the employee. Think in advance what exactly, how, and in what sequence you want to tell the employee. If you’re worried about missing out on something during a conversation, make a plan for how you will be providing your feedback. Identify the most suitable wording to be used in advance to eliminate offending the person when providing feedback. If the employee interprets your comments as unfair, the self-defensive reaction will not be long in coming.

Your assessment should base on the goals set at the beginning of the year. However, sometimes evaluating someone’s activity is not that straightforward.

Ask for feedback from colleagues with whom that person works closely. Discover how they evaluate their professional qualities and problem-solving skills. It will allow you to understand how that person copes with their work.

Tip 11: Do not judge or assess

Good feedback is all about listing the facts, and not your personal assessment of what happened. Just tell the employee how you see their actions from your perspective, how they influenced you, the work of the team, and the product. Let the employee decide what to do with this information. Always provide judgment-free feedback, then the employee will not find cause for concern and will feel safe. In this state, one can calmly think over the facts and understand what to work on next.

Do not judge

— We found many errors and didn’t fix them before the deadline. As a result, we got many angry letters from our clients. It may harm our team and the entire company.

Provide feedback based on facts

— We found many errors and did the most to fix them. Eventually, we did not meet the deadline. Some of our clients were unhappy with that.

Tip 12: Give feedback in person

One of the baseline principles of management states the following: praise in public and criticize in private. There is no doubt on the first part of that saying — public criticism will cause stress and distance the employee out of their colleagues. Even saying something positive about a team member, make sure that public praise will not make them nervous. In some cases, positive feedback is also better to provide during one-on-one meetings. Generally, avoid giving feedback on an employee surrounded by colleagues - even if you have something positive to say. There are other ways to share praise and recognition with a wide audience. The point is not only that everyone perceives praise in their way. The employee needs to speak out during the feedback: talk about problems, seek advice, and ask questions. The one-on-one format suits well for this.

Do not

— Dear colleagues, you worked well. However, I would like to mark the mistakes you have made along the way. Mike, you for example…

Do

— Dear colleagues, you worked well. I would like to invite you to one-on-one meetings to provide personalized and detailed feedback on your work.

Despite that excessive vehemence hinders the communication process, emotions in general play a critical role in assessing employee performance. Strong impressions remain in the memory for a long time and are best remembered. Extensive neuroscience research in recent decades has shown that emotions are essential for logical reasoning. Of course, excessive worry can rob you of common sense, but in general, worries contribute to decision-making. The degree of emotional expression depends on the problem you are solving and the relationship established between the superior and the subordinate. The key question is whether the person is responsive to your emotions. Of course, we cannot know how another person will respond to our emotions, and when we are in the grip of feelings, it is hard to assess how we express them in conversation. Therefore, practice is needed, which we will discuss later in the article. The more often we talk about performance, the more we understand how different people react to criticism and which ways of expressing emotions are effective and which are not.

Tip 13: Do not attack

Do not start the conversation with criticism. The employee will perceive your speech as an attack and begins to defend — this will happen instinctively. Even though you make good arguments, the employee will not take your words the way you want them to do. Therefore, it is essential to give feedback in a way the employee will not treat it as an act of aggression. At the beginning of the conversation, tell the employee something neutral. For example, what has happened or will happen in the team. It will create a welcoming and trusting atmosphere. The employee will be ready to calmly and thoughtfully perceive your words, including criticism.

Do not

— Hey Mike, I’d like to discuss the latest project with you. Everyone has had a lot of flaws, and you in particular. And that’s what I want to discuss.

Do

— Hey Mike, I’d like to discuss the latest project with you. We just passed the midpoint of our marathon, and the challenges remain daunting. I do believe that a well-done retrospective analysis can help us cope with the upcoming challenges.

Tip 14: Show that mistakes can be fixed

Make it clear to the employee that mistakes are normal and can be corrected. Avoid saying that their failures were dire and led to terrible consequences. If so, then the employee will understand everything by themselves. It’s essential to figure out what to do next and what to avoid.

Your criticism like the following “You made many mistakes, which negatively impacted the project” won’t help make corrections, and the employee will only blame himself. Instead, phrases like “We tried, but it didn’t work out yet.” help to calm down and concentrate on how to fix mistakes.

Do not

— Unfortunately, you did not manage to cope with this task. I am sorry about this.

Do

— It is difficult for you because you have little experience. You will have a chance to try again on the next project.

Tip 15: Ask and listen to the other person

Your colleague must also speak. Let them also give you feedback and share their experiences. They may reveal their point of view, ask for advice, or even argue with you. Probably you don’t know something or have incomplete information. It is essential to set dialogue to better understand each other.

If an employee has made mistakes, do not bombard him with your guesses. Ask the colleague about the reasons and listen to their arguments — let them conduct a self-analysis, which may help discover problems.

Ask the colleague to share their thoughts about the work, needs, wishes, and concerns. You will better understand the employee and learn what is needed for them to stay engaged.

Do not

— I analyzed how much time you spend on tasks. You work slow, which slows down the entire project. You need to learn how to do work faster.

Do

— What was the reason you missed the latest deadline? What blocks did you have?

Tip 16: Look for solutions together

Having figured out what the problems are, do not rush to offer your solutions and do not give direct instructions. Let the person think for himself what is better to do, and take the responsibility. It is easier and more enjoyable to carry out decisions that have not been imposed. Help the employee if they can’t figure out how to deal with the problem. Offer a few options or tell them what you would do in their place.

Do not

— I propose to pay more attention to the development of soft skills in the next half of the year.

Do

— It was difficult for you to negotiate this quarter. There is a good book by Gevin Cennedy “Everything Is Negotiable”. This book really helped me. What do you think you can do next?

Here are some tips to help you hone the art of having a performance conversation with your employees.

Tip 17: Discuss with subordinates their activities as often as possible

Do not seek to analyze a long list of topics and questions at a time - it is much better to discuss employees’ outcomes regularly. Even a two-minute conversation after a general meeting or presentation can be a valuable opportunity for both of you to learn something.

Tip 18: Ask others to rate your work

Inviting employees to comment on your work, you get some advantages. You get valuable information and understand the feelings of the interlocutor. Additionally, you add respect to yourself in the eyes of subordinates - since the desire to listen gives more weight to your opinion. If subordinates are reluctant to express concerns, ask them to help you achieve specific goals, such as learning to be concise or interrupting others less often. By identifying the area where you want to improve, you will encourage them to speak openly.

Providing critical (a.k.a negative) feedback to subordinates, especially when the quality of their work does not meet expectations, is one of the most significant functions of a manager. But for most executives, this is the least favorite thing to do. Below is the last portion of tips that will help you prepare for providing critical feedback to your subordinates.

Tip 19: Don’t be afraid to provide negative feedback

Most leaders admit their mistakes easily when pointed out. In turn, criticism of a subordinate’s work should not make the leader nervous. Critical feedback should not demoralize subordinates or affect professional relations. To be more successful in conveying suggestions for improvement to employees, you need to learn to recognize the biased attitude that affects the performance evaluation. A good way is to spend some time looking for alternative explanations for the behaviors you observe rather than jumping to conclusions that drive you and your subordinates into a corner. You will need a broad and flexible approach that reassures your employee that the criticism is justified and you are ready for an honest conversation.

Tip 20: Provide negative feedback in a private place

Avoid giving critical feedback to subordinates in front of colleagues and other team members. Most likely, the employee will either begin to conflict or close and start defending themselves. In any way, your feedback will not be well received. Keep in mind that you do not have to discourage the employee’s desire to work — your primary goal is to help solve problems to stimulate new achievements. Book a meeting with the subordinate in a private place, for example, in your office or a conference room. It will demonstrate your respect and engage them to be more open while responding to your feedback.

Tip 21: Stay positive and constructive

It’s vital to provide negative feedback constructively and keep the dialog as positive as possible. Remember that the sole purpose of giving critical feedback is to develop the employee. You probably want to change someone’s behavior to prevent issues or low performance. While providing critical feedback, your manner, voice, and vocabulary play a central role. The discussion goal is not just to point out mistakes to the employee but increase the motivation and resources for change.

Bad example of providing negative feedback

— Karen, you are missing deadlines, which affects the rest of the team and the project.

Good example of providing negative feedback

— Karen, I have noticed you are finding time management a challenge. Is there anything I can help you with?